zombikki:

veganasfuck:

how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw. 

this is the best joke ever

Anonymous asked:
you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?

thatshybutrudegirl:

fortheloveofdf:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

image

*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

"i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day"😂😂

Lmaooo

ele-kid:

shadesofambiguousareli:

yung-medusa:

omg

Oh Hell No

Chill

actionables:

I know a guy who didn’t realize he had an extra toe until he was 11

randompandemonium:

soprie:

actionables:

hmm, yoga is kind of girly #nohomo let’s rename it so it sounds manlier and make it just for the bros for the bros only

WHY DO MEN NEED TO REBRAND EVERYTHING TOUCHED BY WOMEN?
SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR YOGURT AND SALAD AND DO YOUR YOGA

FOLLOW UP YOUR INTENSE BROGA SESSION WITH SOME BROGURT AND A BRAH-LAD

randompandemonium:

soprie:

actionables:

hmm, yoga is kind of girly #nohomo
let’s rename it so it sounds manlier and make it just for the bros
for the bros only

WHY DO MEN NEED TO REBRAND EVERYTHING TOUCHED BY WOMEN?

SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR YOGURT AND SALAD AND DO YOUR YOGA

FOLLOW UP YOUR INTENSE BROGA SESSION WITH SOME BROGURT AND A BRAH-LAD

zeppelicaesars:

alexkisu:

do you ever just stare at yourself in the mirror in your underwear and get sad

sad that no ones around to see me hell yea

sixpenceee:

Italian special force soldier after 72 hour battle in Afghanistan

School for black civil rights activists. Young girl being trained to not react to smoke blown in her face, 1960

Disability activists abandon their wheelchairs and mobility devices and crawl up the 83 stone steps of the U.S. Capitol Building demanding the passage of the American with Disability Act, March 12, 1990.

A south Korean man cries as his brother is on a train back to North Korea. Separated by the war, they have not seen the other since 1950. They were allowed to see each other for three days, but one will go back spending life in luxury, and the other in hard labour

 The Mocambo night club in East Hollywood, a white’s only club, was the most popular dance spot around but would not book Ella because she was black. Marilyn, who adored Ella Fitzgerald and her music, called the manager and demanded that they book Ella immediately

Portrait of Istvan Reiner, taken shortly before he was killed in Auschwitz

Werfel, a 6 year old orphan from Austria has just been given his first pair of new shoes by the American Red Cross,1946.

The last Jew of Vinnitsa

Susan B. Anthony in 1872 getting beaten and arrested for trying to vote when it was illegal for women to do so.

Until the mid-60s, the Aborigines came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an Aborigine meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.

Here’s a link to 75 iconic pictures of the 21st century
I hope you guys learned and teared up from this as much as I did. 

sixpenceee:

Italian special force soldier after 72 hour battle in Afghanistan

School for black civil rights activists. Young girl being trained to not react to smoke blown in her face, 1960

Disability activists abandon their wheelchairs and mobility devices and crawl up the 83 stone steps of the U.S. Capitol Building demanding the passage of the American with Disability Act, March 12, 1990.

A south Korean man cries as his brother is on a train back to North Korea. Separated by the war, they have not seen the other since 1950. They were allowed to see each other for three days, but one will go back spending life in luxury, and the other in hard labour

 The Mocambo night club in East Hollywood, a white’s only club, was the most popular dance spot around but would not book Ella because she was black. Marilyn, who adored Ella Fitzgerald and her music, called the manager and demanded that they book Ella immediately

Portrait of Istvan Reiner, taken shortly before he was killed in Auschwitz

Werfel, a 6 year old orphan from Austria has just been given his first pair of new shoes by the American Red Cross,1946.

The last Jew of Vinnitsa

Susan B. Anthony in 1872 getting beaten and arrested for trying to vote when it was illegal for women to do so.

Until the mid-60s, the Aborigines came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an Aborigine meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.

Here’s a link to 75 iconic pictures of the 21st century

I hope you guys learned and teared up from this as much as I did. 

leewkhemmings:

im fucking dying

leewkhemmings:

im fucking dying

  • me: i am actually so happy with my life right now for once
  • next day: *everything fucks up*
  • 2srooky:

    One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.